Last Thing On My Mind
by Jenna5
Summary: YEA! I figured out how to add chapters! Never Told Me is now in here, and there is now a chapter 3.! and a chapter 4! but thats the end, I promise...
1. Default Chapter

Nny struggled to keep his eyes open. He only had a few more miles until he would be home. He sipped his coffee-a double espresso (he needed all the caffeine he could get) and turned the radio up a little louder.  
  
*Driving home to be with you The highway's dividing, the city's in view*  
  
He knew he could make it. He thought about Devi, and how surprised she would be.sure, she would probably try to kill him.maybe run screaming, he deserved it, but.he hoped if he could talk to her calmly, maybe, just maybe she would take him back.maybe talking would help, that and the sight of the beautiful ring he had been saving up for for the past six months.  
  
*As usual, I'm almost on time You're the last thing that's on my mind*  
  
He felt his eyes slowly slip closed.  
  
*I wish I could tell you the way that I feell But tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel*  
  
He could still see the road, but it was distorted, wrong in a way.highways aren't supposed to be purple.and there aren't normally hitchhiking pink bunnies with angel wings.oh.shit.he realized he all too late that he was dreaming  
  
*No commotion, no screaming brakes Most of it's over before I awake From the ceiling, my coffee cup drips While out my window, the horizon does flips*  
  
The next thing he knew, a horrendous crashing sound woke him from his slumber and his whole body jerked against the restraint of the safety belt.the airbags didn't inflate soon enough.he hit his head against the steering column.  
  
*The worst part was hitting the ground - Not the feeling so much as the sound Can't help but wonder if all this is real Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the whee*l  
  
His world exploded in a blast of noise and chaos.he heard disjointed sounds.voices.screams.sirens.he tried to open his eyes, but all he saw was red.too much red.it burned to try to look through the curtain of blood that clouded his vision.  
  
*Rubberneck traffic and passersby And Slow Motion Walter the fire engine guy Stand around with their mouths open wide I heard some idiot ask if someone's inside With the Jaws of Life they tried and they tried Nobody here can know how I feel Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel*  
  
He knew he was going to die. He didn't even struggle. He just accepted.  
  
*I guess it's over now Cause I've never seen so much Never seen so much, never seen so much Never seen so much, never seen so much Never seen so much blood*  
  
He watched from above as the firemen attempted to pull his mangled body from the wreckage, not realizing that it was already too late.  
  
*In all the confusion, there's something serene I'm just a posthumous part of the scene Now I'm floating above looking in As the radio blares and wheels spin I can see my face slump with a grin*  
  
It was only then, when he saw a bloody fireman pull what was left of him out of the car, that he thought again of Devi.and the ring.and how she would never know that he was on his way to see her, how much he had longed to hold her, to ask her to be his wife.these were his last thoughts as his soul moved on to wherever it was he belonged.  
  
*And you...you're the last thing on my mind You're the last thing on my mind You're the last thing on my mind You're the last thing on my mind* 


	2. You never told me

Disclaimer: I forgot to put this on the other chapter.hell, I didn't even know there was gonna be ANOTHER chapter to put it on, but my voices told me to write me, so here we go (wheee!!) I don't own any of this stuff-the songs are by Bare Naked Ladies in chap. 1, and Wizo here in chap. 2-the characters are all owned by the one and only Jhonen V.I own only my sanity.err.well.what's left of it anyhow.(oh yeah-Ive never read I Feel Sick-I cant find it ANYWHERE ::weep::, so Im guessing on Tenna's personality (I think she'll show up here) based on what Ive read of YOUR wonderful fics (and they are wonderful, I'm not being sarcastic.) ok. That's enuff outta me, on with the show! (sorry for the OCCness.my bad.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------  
  
Devi lay on her couch in her tiny apartment with one arm draped over her eyes in an exhausted pose. What a day. Tenna had succeeded in getting her out of the house once again, to Devi's dismay and this time.this time it was to the most horrible place imaginable: Chuck E Cheese.a fun filled afternoon of bad pizza and screaming children. Yea! She knew Tenna meant well, but there was no way in hell that Devi was ever going to be as constantly hyper and happy as her dear friend. She was just about to fall asleep when there came a sharp knock on the door. She grumbled and rolled herself off the couch and answered it. (a/n: the door, not the couch.I couldn't figure out how to write that without sounding redundant.)  
  
A policeman stood on her front stoop. "Devi D.?" He asked.  
  
"Uhh.yes.is there something I can do for you officer?"  
  
"Do you know a young man by the name of Johnny C, miss?"  
  
Devi felt her heart skip a beat as her breath caught in her throat. 'Well, duh', she wanted to answer, 'of course I know Johnny C-he tried to kill me! I called your station a hundred million times to report it and you never did anything! Now, almost a year later, you show up?!' But she didn't. She simply looked the officer calmly in the eye, and answered, "Yes, I know him, why?"  
  
The officer looked down at the ground, and pulled a small package wrapped in paper out of his pocket. "I don't know how to tell you thin, miss, but your friend is dead. It seems he fell asleep at the wheel on his way back into town.He was dead upon arrival to the scene, miss, I don't think he sufbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."  
  
All Devi heard coming from the officers lips was a strange muffled buzz. Johnny? Dead? (a/n: again?! ^_^) What the hell was going on here? Sure, she was pissed at the fact that he had ruined a perfectly good evening by trying to kill her, but she certainly didn't want him to be dead.She gripped the doorframe to keep herself steady.  
  
"Anyway, miss, this was found at the scene," He handed her the small package, "It has your name on it.It is rightfully yours. I am sorry for your loss, miss." And with no other words of comfort, the officer turned away and walked back down to his car.  
  
Devi shut the door slowly, and leaned on it, sliding to the floor. She held the package in her fingertips. Did she dare unwrap it? Her curiosity got the better of her and she undid the tape that held the paper enclosing whatever goodie might be inside. The goodie turned out to be a small jeweler's box.  
  
*You never told me that you didn't like my face You never told me, so how could I've known How could I've known*  
  
She was all too tempted to open the box, when she noticed writing on the paper. It was a letter.  
  
"Devi-  
  
"Ive been to heaven and hell, limbo and purgatory, and on a quest to rid myself of all emotion-therefore ridding myself of you (in all the best intentions) I couldn't hurt you if I couldn't feel anything for you, but my selfishness got the better of me, and leaving you behind made me feel even more: absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess.  
  
"Whenever I pulled my car over for the night, I would try as hard as I could not to sleep-I detest sleep-I don't know if I ever told you that or not-but I would lay back on the hood of my car and remember what it was like-how happy I was to talk to you before.before I fucked everything up.how your eyes would light up at the sight of me walking towards your counter.and then how afterwards, I had to stay in the shadows.lurking there, in order to see you, because I knew that if you ever noticed me.well, it would have just been bad.  
  
*I saw you yesterday down at the bar I smiled and said Hello and how you are Youu didn't say a word, just ran away - ran away I was complete surprised, I could not understand*  
  
"When I did sleep, I had this dream.this dream that I had come up to you and tried to start a conversation.you ran, as was to be expected, but I didn't back off.  
  
*You never told me...*  
  
"I followed you into an allyway, where I found you hiding behind a dumpster. You were frightened, and I was ashamed of myself that I had hurt you in such a way that the sight of me brought fear into those beautiful eyes that had once sparkeled with.maybe not love.but trust.I leaned down, and gently took your shaking body into my arms and whispered my alpologies, knowing that it would never be enough, but gradually.gradually.your shaking stopped and I felt you return the embrace.  
  
*I found you on the outside, tears in your eyes and as you saw me coming you tried to hide But I came after you and finally - finally I got you in my arms and never let you go*  
  
"This is where I always awoke.  
  
"I ask you, this, Devi-please accept this gift-a token of my grief of fucking up the one chance I ever had to be truly happy. You don't have to accept the bond it would usually symbolize.I don't want to press my luck.but it has all my best intentions.Im truly sorry, Devi.  
  
"Yours always,  
  
"Nny."  
  
Devi opened the small box. Inside was the most beautiful diamond ring she had ever seen. The band was a dark silver, with a celtic knot pattern etched into the side. The stone was small, and humble, but still precious, cut in a perfect circle. Devi felt the first of the many tears she would cry that night slide down her pale cheek. She looked up at the ceiling, up to whatever lie beyond, and whatever was controlling the cosmic balance of the insignificant thing called life. "Fuck." She whispered, "Fuck."  
  
*You never told me that you were in love me You never told me, so how could I've known* 


	3. We should have rode the bumper cars

Disclaimer: wow.its me again.I don't know where all these silly things keep commin from! I guess my writers block has finally dissipated after a very very long time.I really wish I could figure out how to condense these lovely things into chapters of one big story, tho,.for some reason it wouldn't let me.any help is greatly appreciated! Again, I own nothing but my fingers, which are achy from typing all night.song this time is "We Should Have Rode the Bumper Cars" by Keepsake-really really pretty song.whee! (Again, I apologize for bein so damned ooc.)  
  
Nny landed on the floor of hell. Hard. Heaven had vomited him up once again-he didn't really care, he knew he wasn't meant to be there-plus the flying angel bunnies scared the shit outta him.  
  
He rubbed the small of his back and looked around at his disheveled surroundings. Hmmm.Sr. Diablo was a little late.normally he was here in full cheerleader glory by now. As if summoned by this thought, a disgustingly perky cheerleader appeared in a puff of magenta smoke. (A/n: *poof!*)  
  
"Like, hello, Nny?!" Satan greeted in a squeaky voice. In true airhead fashion, the statement ended in a question mark (a/n: someone, please, kill me now, my roommate really talks like this.she is SO lucky I cant find any sporks around campus..ugh.).  
  
"Hello, Mr. Satan-man," Nny answered, resisting the urge to disembowel the devil for taking on such an incredibly annoying persona. "Guess you're gonna zap me back into existance, now, huh?"  
  
"Well, like, not yet?! Like, I wanted to, like talk to you a little first?!"  
  
Nny's eye began to twitch. "About what?"  
  
"Like, Devi got the ring?!" (a/n: it is so freakin impossible to write this seriously while makin the devil talk like this..forgive me.I'm on my 4th bottle of Cherry Coke.)  
  
"What? Are you serious? How? How did she react? What happened?"  
  
"A police officer dropped it off at her house?! Like, somehow it survived the crash?! As for how she reacted.why don't you see for yourself?!" The demonic cheerleader waved a hand and the air swirled around into a type of portal-a window into the world of the living. Through it, Nny could see Devi sitting on the floor of her apartment, leaning against her front door, crystalline tears sliding down her porcelain-coloured skin. Nny reached out a hand to touch her, but of course, he couldn't. All he wanted was to wipe those tears away-to see her smile.  
  
*I am flying. Dreams are dying I never wanted anything you said to ever be this way I really do appreciate the time you spent with me that day*  
  
"Why.why is she crying? I bought her the ring to try to make her happy. Why.why is she wasting tears on me?" Nny wondered out loud.  
  
"Because she realizes now what she was missing?!"  
  
*I'll take you out on a Saturday But will it feel the same? We'll drive around Dream out loud Think of yesterday*  
  
Nny turned to face the cheerleader. "Can it be fixed? Can I go back and fix it?"  
  
Sr. Diablo gave him a look that almost showed pity. "I don't know if that would be wise, Nny?! She believes you to be dead. That may be the only reason she is crying?! Whose to says that if you go back and confront her, she wont slam the door in your face, thinking it all a cruel joke to try to win back her affections-only so you can try to kill her again?!"  
  
*We'll talk for hours I'll buy you flowers You'll be my company*  
  
"Cruel joke?!" Nny raged, his emotions getting the better of him, "Cruel joke?! Who the fuck are you to tell me about cruel jokes?! I'll tell you what's a joke-being a fuckin waste lock! Try that for a change! Try being a slave to a fuckin wall and a couple of fuckin pastry mascots! Fook!  
  
*We'll get in my car We'll drive out real far I'll be your company*  
  
"I tried to kill her, yes, but I couldn't help myself! I wasn't under control of my own life-my own thoughts and actions! If I could take it back.if I could take it all back.She has to see that-she has to see that I didn't mean any of it.sure, she might slam the door in my face; sure, she might kick my ass yet again, but I need to try-don't you see that? I need to at least try.  
  
*I am flying. Dreams are dying I never wanted anything you said to ever be this way I really do appreciate the time you spent with me that day*  
  
"I need to at least try." His voice began to crack.  
  
Satan nodded his perky little head.  
  
And Nny found himself outside Devi's door.  
  
*I had a dream that I was in school I learned about all the things you Thought would make me cool From politics and fashion too Nothing was too good to learn for you*  
  
He stood, and brushed the dirt form his pants. He walked up to the door, palms sweaty, hands shaking. He had never been so nervous in his entire life. He ran a hand over his head, cursing inwardly about how long it would take to grow his hair back.again. He took a deep breath. And knocked.  
  
*I am flying. Dreams are dying I never wanted anything you said to ever be this way I really do appreciate the time you spent with me that day I'll take you out on a Saturday But will it feel the same? We'll drive around Dream out loud Think of yesterday*  
  
He heard a slight scraping sound from the other side-the sound of someone standing, and slowly the door swung open, revealing the tear-stained face of Devi. Her eyes opened wide in shock. "Nny!" She gasped.  
  
*We'll talk for hours I'll buy you flowers You'll be my company We'll get in my car We'll drive out real far I'll be your company*  
  
"Umm.hi, Devi" Nny answered.  
  
*I'll be your company* 


	4. What might have been

Disclaimer: it keeps goin and goin and goin..like the cute little bunny on the commercials! I think this is the end, tho.I just heard a really pretty (and yes, country, song -please don't throw things! And I realize how to end this.it wasn't supposed to be this long.shruggy and now that I figured out how to add chapters (yea!) I don't have to put it as its own separate thing! Yea! I, as you well know, am a poor college student.I own my textbooks and even those are on a payment plan.I could never own these characters.sniffy sorry for the ooc.  
  
"Hi, Devi." Nny replied to the tear streaked face that peeked out from behind the door.  
  
"Nny.but you're.you're." Devi stammered.  
  
"Dead? Yeah, well, I know I'm supposed to be, but.you see, I can't die-I just get sent back-it's a pain in the ass, but, it's my lot in life. Are you ok? You look.sad."  
  
Devi still stared at him in disbelief. She opened the door wider, and, not answering, reached out one shaking hand and touched his pale, cold cheek. He, being Nny, flinched back at the feel of her skin on his, then relaxed, and allowed her to trace his features with her fingertips-exploring like a blind woman.  
  
"You're..You're really here.you're really alive." She began to cry again, laughing at the same time, and threw her arms around him. He stood stunned for a second, then returned the embrace awkwardly, stroking her hair and making little soothing noises. He hoped he was doing it right.he had never comforted anyone before.or been comforted himself as far as he remembered.he was only imitating what he had seen in a movie once.  
  
They broke the embrace and she took his hand, leading him into the apartment. The walked in silence to the couch and sat down. She pulled the small box containing the ring out of her pocket and pet the velvet with her finger.  
  
*Sure, I think about you now and then, But it's been a long, long time.*  
  
"Nny.why did you buy this for me?"  
  
*I've got a good life now; well, I've moved on. So when you cross my mind*  
  
Nny felt his face get warm. He knew he was blushing. "Because I wanted you to be happy.because I wanted to be happy with you. Because I don't want to be alone anymore.lots of reasons."  
  
*I try not to think about what might have been. 'Cos that was then and we have taken different roads.*  
  
She gently took his hand, "Nny."  
  
We can't go back again; there's no use giving in. And there's no way to know what might have been.*  
  
Nny saw the sadness in her eyes. He knew what she was going to say. He really didn't want to hear it. He got up, pulling her up with him.  
  
"Dance with me?"  
  
"Nny, there's no music."  
  
"Ill make music for us, just, please.dance with me" He pulled her close to him and began to sing softly, swaying to the music that played only in his mind.  
  
*We could sit and talk about this all night long. And wonder why we didn't last. Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know. But we'll have to leave them in the past*  
  
Devi allowed herself to relax in his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, trying to swallow the lump that had risen in her throat.  
  
*That same old look in your eyes; It's a beautiful night; I'm so tempted to stay. But too much time has gone by; We should just say goodbye, And turn and walk away.*  
  
She remembered how happy she was when he would come visit her, how wonderful it was laying on the hood of his car, watching the city lights and the stars, almost losing track of which was which. She thought about how nice it was to be in his arms.how.safe.she felt, despite what had happened between them.  
  
*And try not to think about what might have been. 'Cos that was then and we have taken different roads. We can't go back again; there's no use giving in. And there's no way to know what might have been*  
  
Nny was almost done with the song.he didn't want it to end. He didn't want to have to let her go, but no matter how slowly he sang, no matter how many choruses' he repeated, it would have to end eventually. There was no use dragging it out. He felt the breath from the last note escape his lips and he gently released her. She looked down for a minute and swallowed her tears. She took his hand, and moved it so it was palm up, and placed the small velvet box in the center. She then looked into his eyes, which were filling with tears just as quickly as hers were. He was doing a little better job of hiding them, but not much.  
  
"Im sorry, Nny.but we're.we're two very different people now." She didn't trust her emotions enough to say anymore.  
  
Nny nodded, and leaned forward, kissing her on the forehead so softly she barely felt it. He then turned away, keeping his eyes on hers until the last possible second. He walked out of her life forever, closing the door behind him with a soft 'click'.  
  
On either side of that door, two figures dropped to their knees, and cried.  
  
*No, we'll never know, what might have been.* 


End file.
